SNP 2013 XMAS INDEPENDENCE NOVELTIES

Make you own currency kit

Allows you to name your currency,  design your own coins and banknotes, create coins (3D printer included) and banknotes and set up a central piggy bank.  Warning: the money will have the same value as that used in the game monopoly.  Not to be confused with real life.

IndependenceWorld

Create your own independent Scotland virtual world. The beauty of the programme is that you can make it as  improbable as you want and it will still seem plausible if you are an SNP supporter. Lose yourself in pure fantasy.

DevoMaxWorld

A computer  game in which players attempt to build  an ever more fantastical  world in which Scotland is granted wildly  improbable privileges to be paid for by England whilst Scotland remains  safe within the UK. For the less adventurous player.

Islands

A game for two people.  It is played on a magnetic board representing the British Isles. Players are called UK  and Scotland  The idea is for the player designated Scotland  to keep their  islands and their oil attached to  the Scottish mainland  while the player designated UK tries to make them break away and join the UK .

The game proceeds by the use of a special pack of cards with messages such as UK offers to patrol Orkney waters gain 10 watts and Scotland attempts to occupy the Island of Lewis lose 50 watts. The magnetism comes from electro magnets which each player must increase or decrease in power as their cards dictate.  The islands move on the board  from their current position towards the UK or remain as they are depending on the play of the cards. Trials of game  show a remarkably high incidence of the Islands and their oil ending up in UK hands.

My little Alec Salmon

Lifelike figure in the form of the SNP leader.  Fully animatronic. Will have you in fits of laughter as it struts up and down and makes ever more ridiculous claims.  Also programmed to do  impersonations  of Will Fyffe,  Harry Lauder, Andy Stewart and other Scottish favourites.

Government Independence Contract Monopoly 

Played on a board marked out with contracts offered by the UK government. Players move by the use of a dice and there is community chest with cards carrying instructions such as UK takes all defence contracts away from Scotland.  Players unsuccessfully attempt to collect 200 million pounds of English taxpayers’ money every time they pass GO or at any other time.  Warning: in trial uses of the game no contract has ever been awarded to Scotland.

Independence Sweepstake Game

Before independence  Players make their estimates of what the following will be after independence

-          The average oil revenue in the first five years of after independence

-          The number of English taxpayer  funded jobs in Scotland which will be lost

-          The cost of setting up a Scottish civil service

-          The cost of setting up Scottish defence forces

-          The size of the Scottish share of the UK national debt in 2016

-          The size of the Scottish share of the UK public service pensions provision in 2016

 

In the event of a vote for independence, the estimates are compared with the actuality after five years of independence.  If it happens, be amazed at the difference between the sweepstake figures (hilariously optimistic) and reality.

SNP Sovereign Wealth Fund Moneybox

Purely decorative. The box is designed without any money cache because none will be needed. Frightening realistic.

English Subsidy Moneybox

A perennial favourite but with a difference. The money box  remains open after independence but Scots find that the only money they will get from it will be that which they put in themselves. Hours of innocent fun watching the owner’s expression change from smug expectation to utter dismay.

Warships

A board game for two players where one tries to keep UK warship building in Scotland after independence and the other refuses to award the contracts to Scotland.

Call my SNP bluff

Three players  recite what is claimed to be SNP policy  while the other players decide which is the real SNP policy amongst the three. Warning: players  must  make sure the two false policies amongst the three are outlandishly  improbable  otherwise it will be all too easy to spot the real SNP policy.

Conversational Gaelic DVD

Learn the language of your ancestors  and find yourself part of a community of dozens of fellow speakers of our glorious tongue. Warning: due to a lack of Gaelic words for items and ideas created after 1700, speakers may find the range of conversation extremely limited.

Diplomacy

Played on a similar board to monopoly with similar rules. The idea is for players to establish  Scottish embassies in all the world’s capitals after independence.  Cry with laughter as Scotland  rents a bedsitter in Moscow and a Studio Flat in Washington.

EU Jigsaw

Giant jigsaw of the European Union. Players try to complete the jigsaw so that it includes an independent Scotland. Warning: the parts representing Scotland may not fit.

Paint your own Saltire

Paint a glorious Saltire by numbers. Suitable for SNP supporters of all ages.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! While the SNP lasts

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10 Responses to SNP 2013 XMAS INDEPENDENCE NOVELTIES

  1. james s says:

    Yet you wonder why no-one likes the English?

    What a prick you are sir.

    • William Gruff says:

      A Jock writes …

      … the usual McNonsense.

      What, apart from your innate Anglophobia, is the basis of your claim that ‘no-one’ (sic) likes us? In my experience its Jocks who are universally disliked. A relative who is now an Australian citizen told me that whenever he hears a Briton described as a ‘whingeing Pom’ the accused invariably turns out to be a Jock, or a Scouser.

    • shaunthebrummie says:

      well make sure you vote yes…and remember no passport..no entry into england..now fuck off…are you a supporter of the provisionals or sevco….getting into english football…what tways and dreamers you are…PMSL..

  2. grahamwood32 says:

    Dear Sir, Thank you for your most helpful information about availability of the SNP 2013 XMAS INDEPENDENCE NOVELTIES. I will order a good supply of all of these in due course to guarentee great entertainment for all the family during the festive season.

    Do you also market the other popular novelty party game called ‘Guess-a-pol’? This is wonderfully entertaining. Two players. Both given cards with a statement by a famous leading world statesman. One is the hugely popular Herman Rumpuoy, and the other is the important and influential Alex Salmond.

    The Rumpuoy card simply states:
    “If a part of the territory of a member state ceases to be a part of that state because that territory becomes a new independent state, treaties will no longer apply to that territory”.

    The Salmond card states: “Scotland will remain part of the EU after our glorious independence.from the nasty English toffs in Westminster”

    Players turn over cards in the pack in quick succession like a game of “snap” which are marked either “Rumpuoy wins”, or “Salmond Wins”, shouting “Rumpuoy” of “Salmond” accordingly.
    The winner is the person with the most cards at the end of the game and so confirms which policy will be chosen ! Very exciting, can be noisy, but note it has potential to annoy other party-goers not in the game. Great fun. Most competitive too!

  3. William Gruff says:

    Brilliant Mr H.

  4. DICK R says:

    Roll on scottish independence , it will relieve us of about 40 labour MPs plus all the SNP grievance mongers from Westminster

  5. DICK R says:

    Probably the funniest item is the ‘ Conversational Gealic ‘ learn the language of your ancestors ,most of lowland Scotland ‘s native language was before the adoption of English due to the Anglo Saxon settlements, will have been closer to Welsh . Edinburgh itself is named after a Saxon leader and was once well inside the Saxon kingdom of Northumberland. But don’t tell Salmond

  6. david brown says:

    The best thing for England is for Scotland to depart the union. Then the English people might just realize that it is England which is being invaded.
    Sorry to be off topic – a much smaller amount of coverage of the English women kicked unconcious on a Clapham bus than the media frenzy over the Emma West case. You can find the CTV off this incident linked on news web sites. Seems the police are downgrading the charges. The two perps , who where granted bail when charged, Joel Clue and Kieran Brown where supposed to be appearing at Camberwell Green Magistrates Court a few days back. But i can not find any news update.

  7. Pingback: SNP 2013 XMAS INDEPENDENCE NOVELTIES | Steve Uncles - English Democrats

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