FORTH ROAD BRIDGE CONSTRUCTION SET
Have hours of fun building the bridge then watch it collapse just when you think it’s finished.
The game is played with a pack of 52 cards. 51 of the cards are marked NO REFRENDUM, one marked REFERENDUM.
WARNING SNP supporters may find the game unbearably frustrating.
NICOLA STURGEON DOLL
Astonishingly lifelike. Is equipped with the latest digital technology which allows it to make any number of improbable statements such as “It’s our oil and it will make us rich”; “Scotland pays more in tax to Westminster than we get back”; “An independent Scotland would be welcomed by the EU”. Hours of hilarity guaranteed.
Can be linked with the Alec Salmond Jock-in-a-Box (see below) which attempts to control the Sturgeon doll invariably with hilarious unintended results.
The board is similar to an ordinary monopoly board but has squares marked with political and public service positions such as First Minister and Head of Police and buildings such as Holyrood . Instead of houses being built on squares players buy SNP supporters.
All players represent the SNP. Players have to compete to take as many squares as they can. The winner is the player who controls most of the political and public service positions and the infrastructure of Scotland by the time the game ends.
Every time a player passes GO they collect £200 of English taxpayers’ money.
SNP BBC SCOTLAND SET
Design your own SNP approved independent Scotland channel.
Put together a schedule full of classic Scots favourites such as The White Heather Club and The Stanley Baxter show and even more classic recordings of Harry Lauder and Will Fyfe performing, together with educational programmes such as Why you should vote SNP forever, The Labour Party is fascist and Tories are the new Nazis.
See what the future for broadcasting in an independent Scotland could be.
JUNIOR CYBERNAT SET
Consists of a giant Saltire duvet cover and an instruction manual with phrases for every occasion when anti-SNP statements are made. Players can have unlimited fun shouting or posting “Tory scum”, “Red Tories”, “Nazis”, “Traitors” at anyone who does not uncritically support SNP policies.
MAGIC MONEY TREE
There is no end of money which can be got from the magic money tree. The money is monopoly cash, but you can build everything from Castles in the Air to an Independent Scotland with it. A tremendous fantasy toy which will be irresistible to SNP supporters.
GAS AND OIL SWEEPSTAKE
Players write down their estimate of the tax derived from the Oil and Gas on the 1st of January and the person closest to the actual figure on the 31st December wins.
Tip to players: the lower you bet the more likely you are to win
CEARANCE STOCK FROM 2014
Alec Salmond figure pops up just as reliably as it did in previous years with an uncannily lifelike whine.
HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! WHILE STOCKS LAST