SNP XMAS NOVELTIES 2015

 

FORTH ROAD BRIDGE  CONSTRUCTION SET

Have hours of fun building  the bridge then  watch it collapse just when you think it’s finished.

REFERENDUM SNAP!

The game is played with a pack of 52 cards. 51 of the cards are marked  NO REFRENDUM, one marked REFERENDUM.

WARNING  SNP supporters may find the game unbearably frustrating.

NICOLA STURGEON DOLL

Astonishingly lifelike.  Is equipped with the  latest digital technology which allows it to make any number of improbable statements such as “It’s our oil and it will make us rich”;  “Scotland pays more in tax to Westminster than we get back”; “An independent Scotland would be welcomed by the EU”.  Hours of hilarity guaranteed.

Can be linked with the Alec Salmond Jock-in-a-Box (see below)   which attempts to  control the Sturgeon  doll invariably with  hilarious unintended results.

SNP MONOPOLY

The board is similar to an ordinary monopoly board but has squares marked with political and  public service positions such as First Minister and   Head of Police   and buildings such as Holyrood . Instead of houses being built on squares players buy SNP supporters.

All players represent   the SNP.  Players have to compete  to take as many squares as they can.   The winner   is the player who controls most of the political and public service positions  and the infrastructure of Scotland by the time the game ends.

Every time a player passes GO they collect £200 of English taxpayers’ money.

SNP BBC SCOTLAND SET

Design your own SNP approved independent Scotland channel.

Put together a schedule full of classic Scots  favourites such as The White Heather Club and The Stanley Baxter show  and even more classic recordings  of Harry Lauder and Will Fyfe performing, together with  educational programmes such as Why you should vote SNP forever, The Labour Party is fascist and Tories are the new Nazis.

See what the future for broadcasting in an independent Scotland could be.

JUNIOR CYBERNAT SET

Consists of a giant Saltire duvet cover and an instruction manual  with phrases for every   occasion when anti-SNP statements are made.   Players can have unlimited fun shouting or posting “Tory scum”, “Red Tories”, “Nazis”, “Traitors”  at anyone who  does not uncritically support SNP policies.

MAGIC MONEY TREE

There is no end of money which can be got from the magic money tree. The money is monopoly cash,  but you can build everything from Castles in the Air to an Independent Scotland with it.   A tremendous fantasy toy which will be irresistible to SNP supporters.

GAS  AND OIL SWEEPSTAKE

Players write down their estimate of the tax derived from the Oil and Gas on the 1st of January and the person closest to the actual figure on the 31st December wins.

Tip to players: the lower you bet the more likely you are to win

CEARANCE STOCK FROM 2014

JOCK-IN-A-BOX

Alec Salmond figure  pops up just as reliably as it did in previous years  with an uncannily lifelike whine.

HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! WHILE STOCKS LAST

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4 Responses to  SNP XMAS NOVELTIES 2015

  1. Mad davie says:

    Dear English bastard u scum at it again ,the great English mother fucking taxpayers oops complaining about us sponging jocks moaning ,well English bastard as a taxpayer along we hand in more to the scum English tax man than we get back so don’t even go down the road of whinging jocks and the bridge fiasco as the bridge maintenance budgets were scaled back due to Tory English bastard cuts seven years ago and as a Scottish patriot we will be free of u English cunts forever in the not to distant future if the uk leaves Europe England will be going its self and a road to self destruction so Bung that in yer pipe ya rancid English scum walloper bawbag

  2. paderb says:

    Hello Robert,
    In line with your kind permission to reproduce some of your posts on our website, I have opened a new section of ‘Guest Blogs’ and have included a selection of your posts which correspond to the particular message put out by our website: namely the secession of Britain from the EU.

    Please note; our website is no longer theunituk.com but, theunituk.org.uk. The reason for this is that my collaborator decided that he had to put family commitments ahead of working on the site but unfortunately left without allowing me access to the site coding. Consequently, the new site and a different format.

    If you would wish to post some of you blogs directly to the site as well as via your present method, please feel free to submit them to blogs@theunituk.org.uk

    Many thanks

  3. By all means reproduce any of my posts. The only stipulation I make is (1) they must be reproduced in full unless they are simply a quote to bolster another post by yuou or someone else and (2) a link is given to the post on my blogs.

    I will see what posts of mine you select before deiding which posts of mine I would like to post on your site.

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